INTRO

It's supposed to be the Common Era now. Why I say "suppose" is that the way I was at that time, I felt no sense of reality. I didn't know what was real or what wasn't. That's why I'll never forget about you. Because you were the one who saved me. I changed after I met you. Look, look at me, I was a craven and all alone... the way I was back then.
It's not too much to say, that the person that was me changed for you. That's why I'll never forget you and when I was madly in love with you.

At that moment, I certainly did feel that way. Who is he, why he? That was all I was thinking about. Your stance, your voice, your laugh, the way you stare and your sweet face. That's why, I will not forget you. Fighting desperately to hide the feelings I felt for you.

When did I start thinking of you that way? Even now, I don't really know, it doesn't matter either, only that I will never ever forget you. Even if I forget the number of times, I've tried to erase you from my heart.

PART ONE

Thinking back, even back then, I was always like this, always, always waiting for you. But I will never ever forget you, because even then, I was content. To see you smile, to hear your voice by afar.

Suddenly, without warning, our paths have crossed. The moment our eyes meet, everything stopped. At first, I couldn't stare at you, my blood rushing to my veins, my hands were as cold as ice, and my heart started to pulsate, loud and clear. Did you hear it? That was the sound of being in love, madly in love. That's why I will never forget you.

On the spur of the moment, feelings were indescribable, happiness was overflowing and me, I want to shout at the top of my lungs, you brought passion to my soul, and before I knew it, there was this smile on my face, I find myself laughing and walking with you. That was really a blissful point in my life; again, I will never forget you.

From the first talk, first walk, first movie, first date we have, I began to think if what was happening was only a reverie. You told me that it was real, for that, I can never forget you. Even so, I don't really care, all I know, I was, I was on a cloud nine, just cherishing what I have.

After all those things, I don't have any clue what will happen next. All I know, I was happy but I wasn't content, I just want to be with you, for every single day, to feel your warmthness, I want to touch you, like forever, I want you to feel what I'm feeling, but, I have to hold back, it's not yet time to unleash what's really inside me, I was thinking, I might ruin any familiarity about you, and that I don't want to happen.

PART TWO

Everything was undecided, it was unplanned. Everything just happened in a snap. I couldn't control what I'm feeling, I just gave in. When your hands touched mine, I clasped yours and at that moment, I stared at you, and I could hear sweet sound inside me, that's why I will never forget you.

The moment you leaned closer to me, my heart started to palpitate, as you began to tilt your head a little and as soon as you gently closed your eyes, at that moment, I closed my eyes too. You began to press your soft lips against mine; you gave me a kiss, a kiss that will last forever, a kiss that I'll never forget. All of a sudden, I was already engaged in a mutual touching, but I was happy.

At that time, I don't really care of other people, all I cared about was you and me, the path that we took. I know it's going to be a long journey, but somehow, I know that I'm safe. Because to you, I was a princess, and all you ever wanted to do was to protect her and make her happy.

The time had suddenly come, I was indulged into a great temptation, a seduction that brought us more closer, and more intimate than before. It was an invitation to the gates of heaven, or shall I say beyond heaven. We were standing face to face, you came closer and you touched my face. You leaned and you kissed me, I had fallen into a deep body of water that is full of ices, I was trembling, but I let you do all the things you wanted to do. It didn't matter to me, all I want is for you to be happy, for me to be happy, and that was all that matters.

You started caressing me, while you start to undress me. Bareness of our bodies was revealed. The hormones in our bodies are being defined, physically, emotionally, mentally and socially. I have felt your warmth, your breath and the smell of your fragrance that I can't forget. The tense and the heat were unbearable under the sheets, I could feel your heart beating, in tandem with my pounding heart and hot blood. I've felt your flesh pushing against mine, the sweats of our soul came and the moaning in ecstasy was dangerously heard. Seeing that I was only silent, you realized that I was worried, at that moment, you hugged me real tight, tight that I felt the warmness of your body.

At that moment, I shed a tear, tear of being happy. I felt that I already own you, and that time, it was the time that I gave you my heart, my body and my soul, that's why I will not forget you.

PART THREE

Every single seconds being with you was felicity. I don't care about them, all I cared about is you and me. But that happiness didn't last, for a hidden something about you was exposed. I couldn't believe what I've heard and what I saw. It made my heart smashed into pieces, and at that moment on, I cried, I've cried for the first time. That's why I will never forget you.

Being in love with you was madly shown, everyone tells me that I was blooming, and always full of inspiration. But at that time, I am certain that I didn't feel that way. I began to lose hope. Questions began to appear inside my mind, and you, you became silent. You knew that I was anxious, and you were in distress too, you, you were by my side, giving me comfort and telling me that you were in love with me. You, you told me everything will be ok.

I couldn't forget how you narrate every detail about her, from the first time you meet until the day you vowed to love her for the rest of your life. Why? From that moment on, all I ever did was to wish and hope, I was hoping I didn't meet you, but, your face, it always appear on my mind.

PART FOUR

From that moment on, my world ended and a new one began. That's why, I'll never forget you. No matter how much I would fight, I could never play the leading role. That was the world, the new world you created for me.

I, from that moment on, might have felt jealousy that no one could see. That's why I will never forget you. That heart-wrenching love that was given to me by you.

At that moment, for the first time since I met you, a feeling of calm flowed inside me. That's why, I will never forget you. Then all at once, resignation hit me together with the shreds of loneliness.

At the time for someone who was at the slightest bit sentimental, a strange feeling came over me. That's why, I will never forget you.

Even though a bittersweet thought you were still there not far from my side.

PART FIVE

If time would be the 20th century and we had met and if I had told you then that you were the one I loved, would our story have been different? That's why, I will never forget you.
If I had said I was in love with you...

At that moment, I was desperately trying to hide the scowl threatening to appear on my face. That's why I will never forget you.

I have been overwhelmed by a strange feeling. It's true that being sent off by the one you love could be called happiness. But no matter how I wanted to understand it all, no answers would come to me. At that moment, I felt all alone, impatient with the thought that no matter how I tried, I couldn't reach the place where you and others were. But at that moment, whatever it was, there was a sense of calm in the air.

Now is still not the time. At that moment, I kept telling myself that, believing that. The time will come someday. That's why I will never forget you.

Ever since that time, I never got another chance to tell you.

PART SIX

Time has passed, my new world was peculiar. But that was the world you created and have given to me. A world that only you and me lives. But, I was happy. It's a different world for us.

One day, I was engaged in a nearly hopeless situation, I had nowhere to run, all I was thinking about was you. And just as I drop a single tear, you were standing in front of me, wrapping your arms around me.

At that moment, I wonder if you were posing as a knight in shining armor. Before I realized it you were protecting me, your princess. That's why I will never forget you.
If only this road, that's for the two of us would go on forever.

I, for that moment, tried to think of some other things, but it's your innocent face that's keeps on flashing on my mind. Your breath on my face, your warm gentle hug, your soft lips pressing against mine. I will never ever forget you.

PART SEVEN

When I thought that I felt a little lonely, and all of a sudden, your face appeared in my mind. Of course I know I'm troubling you. I must have been really in love with you.

At that moment I wanted to appear in front of you and gently hold you in my arms. But for some reason, As if I was frozen I couldn't move a single step. Having taken off the filter, I regained my true self. But still the same as before, I was a wretched person, that's why I will never forget you even if you've simply forgotten about me.

At that moment no matter how foolish it seemed, I clung on to those words, "Passion that rises easily, cools easily." That's why I will never forget you. To break that spell as quickly as possible, for that I was willing to do anything.

The more one thinks about someone, the more one becomes risible. At that moment, I became completely obsessed. It was as if, trying to find that tiny little bell that would save him, a spell with a single keyword would save him, would save even me. If I could finish the game, then the bells of happiness would chime.

That moment I was suppressing the chimes of the bells that were violently reverberating in my heart. Whatever I had wished for, was turning exactly the opposite, that's why, I'll never forget you.

Jealousy is screaming, a cry of distress.

PART EIGHT

At that moment, I was quietly, quietly suppressing my excitement, you would always protect the princess from whoever the enemies were that would invade the little castle. That's because I cannot forget you. Even if it was the prince that I was waiting and hoping for.

At the time, before I realized it, I found myself back at the place where I first met you. I didn't feel anything, didn't think anything. Why did I end up here? The only thing I was certain of was if I was asked by any passer-by, I would probably answer like this: "That's because I cannot forget you. Perhaps, do you want to die? Yes, that's right. I just want to disappear forever."

At that moment I suddenly, yes suddenly, called out to the other person inside of me. The one that wore those grin as filter, the other me. That's why I will never forget you.

PART NINE

Maybe the reason why we hurt so much when we came to a parting is that everything about us, especially our hearts and souls are united. Maybe they always have been and will be. And maybe each time, we've been forced apart for
the same reasons. This farewell is both a good-bye for the past centuries and a preface to what will come.

I don't know whether or not I've made any progress, just that my heart is content. That's why I will never forget you.

I will wait, wait until the time will come for us. The vow you've made that we'll see each other again, the time that is yet to be. But if we never meet again and it truly is goodbye, I know we will see each other again in another life. We will find each other again, and maybe the stars in the sky will have changed, and we will not only love each other in that time, but for all the times we've had before.

I can never forget all the memories we have, why you ask? Because they exist forever, inside my weary heart.

THE END

 

JUNE 5
Work.Work.Work.
Or Better Yet Find A New One.

You mutter about work.
Work. Work is Nice. Work is not being at home, sitting on a couch and switching channels that you want to watch.
Work is Boring. Work is BEING IN CHARGE.
Yeah, being in charge, I mean, there's only you and MJ ( the old-maiden who will retire soon from her seat, well, she's the admin in the office ).Everyone's gone home, your BOSS V is out for a meeting. Poor You!!!
MJ and Moonie, Oh let's make it PRINCESS, kinda bosslike, or "your highness", sounds good for the moment.
You sit back, relax and think for a second, MJ's the type of person who is very acquiescent, she doesn't mind other people, besides she's busy talking to someone over the phone.
So, you began to surf the net, you hunt for jobs that will suit you and your personality. You started thinking about CALL CENTER. You might want to try it. besides, CALL CENTER COMPANIES offers high compensation.
You see 3 buttons on the website, APPLY CANCEL SAVE. Apply - apply online, CANCEL - cancel the application, SAVE - draft the application and it's hidden in their resume bank.
You think very hard. You want to apply, you want to try CALL CENTER. You were in the middle of brainworking when suddenly...
"It's almost 6pm, aren't you going home?", MJ butted-in.
You were somewhat jolted, you saved your work, shut down the entire workstation and you're ready to go.
GO HOME.

7PM - NOSEBLEED!!!!!! Nepalists invades the house.

You were inside your room, half-naked, when suddenly, you heard noises, footfall, you hurriedly put clothes and when you open your door, 2 strange creatures appeared in front of you. Kidding!. 2 beautiful ladies, doesn't speak your language, doesn't understand what your landlady is saying,erraticly they turned to you. You were nice, friendly and you accommodated them properly.
You smiled. They smiled. You asked for their race, or you're thinking " What are you? I mean, where the hell did you come from? what ethnic group are you?" You're face, it looks like it has a big question mark.
Benita, the lady who looks like an indian, said, " We're Nepalist!"
MingMar, the other lady, who looks like vietnamese said, "yeah! and we're looking for a dormitory."
And you said, " OK!"
They began to mumble in their language, " she cha, gre, gra... "
"Oh boy! Aliens in the house!What are they talking? what are they saying?"
Benita looked at you and said, " You don't look 24, you had a baby face, you're cute. It's like there's glow on your face."
"Glow on my face?! Do I look like a lamp?"
After the 30-minute talk, they decided to go.
"Whew! my tongue got tied!"

9PM - Cutie masahista's cutie lil bro!

At first you had your eyes on that cutie masahista. Oh well, He's cute and hot alright, but you're not so into him for he's just a kid. That cutie masahista has a lil brother, cute too but very skinny. You always wish you had a small brother to play with. Maybe he's the one, everyday, after work, you always play with him and tonight his mother saw you kissing the baby on the cheek. the mother yelled and said (In a Bisaya intonation ), " Why don't you kiss 16 ( Cutie Masahista ), he's older, you're always kissing 6 ( baby )"  Again, you were clueless, "huh?"
The Mother said, " You don't look like you're 24, you look like 16. Why don't you kiss 16, come on!"
Your right eyebrow raised and asked yourself, " Does that cutie masahista likes me?"
Anyhoo, you're tired and you wanted to go to sleep.
You kissed 6 on the cheek and bid him goodnyt.

I lie awake inside my room ,everything around me looks dull and gray. i'm all alone, alone by myself, staring up the white ceiling.something eerie perforated my stilly head,my nerves begun to transpire as my body maneuvers to the other side of my bed, i looked straight and saw something in darkness, i was in total distress, i wish someone could take me away from the murkiness and lead me to a blissful place...

i was getting feeble and my eyes hushed , my carcass was so light as a feather, it moved lightly and gracefully, having no idea where it was headed, the wind gently blows it very far, far away from the dark corners of that little room, unforeseen, my carcass dropped heavily into the ground.

slowly, I opened my eyes, to my astonishment, i saw the most ravishing creature on earth, it was staring at me with curiosity,i can't describe what or who it was, for it was glistening. then it suddenly touched my face and stared at me closely.now i can tell that it was a human being , he was a young lad wearing a white and shining clothes and a crown on his head that shimmers. was he a prince?  my heart pounded very fast, fast that I can hear its sound. the creature carried me with his soft and gentle arms and let me ride his beautious stallion.

we went to this beautiful place that has an odoriferous and wide garden, sightly fountains, dancing fairies and a big and beautiful castle built on the center. where am i? where could i be? who is this attractive lass carrying me? what am i doing here? nonetheless, i was in a blissful moment. we went inside the castle and he laid me on his bed. i stared at him for a while, he just grinned and he kissed me on my forehead. i closed my eyes, i just want to feel his warm kiss. when i opened my eyes...

i couldn't find my prince, all i see was familiar things around me, i was back into my own room, i found myself lying on my own bed and my tigger who is beside me. it was all a dream, but it was the most bright and enchanted dream i've ever dreamt of.  

hmmmm, i wish i could meet my prince again... zzzzzzzzz

It's been a while since I last posted here, do you remember my previous blog " how do I breathe ? " ? Well, Im really glad that I am over him, and I have moved on already... There's this someone I've met who is way too far from him. Though I have moved on already, this F***in' Freak is as sticky as a glue... I mean, I thought he doesn't wants me to be with him, and I keep on pushing him away but he's still there, he always calls and sends emails, and text messages... He is always threatening me and my new special one... I mean, I told him to let me go, i'm totally over him... but I'm scared he might kill me or something... what will I do? I'm totally scared. I'm not paranoid, I know that he can do anything, he has the power... and he is older than me... i'm freaking scared... I want him out of my life... but he's always there... sometimes, he is very nice and sweet but when I started to shout and tell to go away, He would yell and all his threats, they are overflowing... Sometimes I thought I am already free, I can breathe already... but I am not... because he is still there, he's out there chasing me... a nitpicker, always looking for a fault so that I'll beg him not to do this... but i'm so tired and sick of his being so paranoid... I know i'm not paranoid, i'm just scared... he's a pyscho...   i don't know what to do... i'm scared that this psycho might hurt my new special one and eventually ruined our relationship.... i'm so scared...

I'm really Lonely... this is a song by I Nine...  

I got a call today
At 3am.
It’s what you didn’t say that told me I’d get hurt again
So I hung up the phone
And I screamed out-loud
I felt so alone, should have said the things I’m thinking now

Never thought it’d be so hard to let you go,

Tell me how I’m gonna make it
You’re the one I can’t forget
It’s like I’m running in slow motion in a nightmare that never ends
When I try to face it when I wake up I hate the way reality sets in
God I wish you could hold me
Through the seven days of lonely

It’s deafening
The bitter truth
I’m doing everything for the first time again without you
I pretend I’m ok
But it aches inside
There’s got to be a way that’s better than just getting by

My heart is speeding up and slowing down to know I know it’s over, it’s over
And can you die of heartbreak die from love lost young I pray to find it again
Love again

(Got a call today, at 3am, it’s what you didn’t say that hurts again)